Mom used to say, “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” and, as with most things, mom was right. Constantly comparing yourself to your peers is not only a waste of time, it’s based on a narrow, and often inaccurate, perspective of another person’s life.

So your friend Bill just got his second master’s degree and your old college roommate is traveling abroad. Oh, and this morning you woke up to Marie’s Facebook post about her big promotion. It can be challenging to stop using peers’ success and experiences to appraise your own. But here’s why you need to:

Mary Schmick of the Chicago Tribune put it best when she said: “Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with you.”

There are so many variables and intangible factors that make up each of our personal paths, and there is no way of determining someone’s true level of happiness and success based on their (not so humble) announcements on Facebook, or their many fabulous, smiling Instagrams… Omg is that her house, it’s enormous! Are they seriously in Italy…again? Is that Beyonce he’s with?  

While a little competition can be motivating and healthy, constantly playing the comparison game can be counterproductive to your own happiness and success. It invariably leads to jealousy, and may eat away at your confidence, squash your motivation, or make you feel negative and bitter. Staying on track with your own life goals, requires positivity, motivation, dedication and confidence.

If you’re lucky, life is not a sprint – it’s a marathon. And, just like everyone, you will have your own moments of glory (and failures). It’s unrealistic for you to expect that these will occur at the same pace and timing as other people.

You owe it to yourself to design your unique life goals with your own personal circumstances, priorities, talents, and passions in mind. Do not waste your time competing with someone else for their goals, and don’t adopt someone else’s priorities just because they inspire envy on Instagram.

Hold tight to one or two of your most cherished personal aspirations, and keep moving toward them. What you experience along the way is part of your personal journey in life, and just like you – it should be one of a kind.